Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16
"We are late" Mom said in my ears.
I turned to see the poster again. It said the marriage is scheduled from 4AM to 6AM and not 8-9AM as given in our cards. My cousins and Uncle showed anger which was visible from everything they did. From the way they closed the door, kicking stones off the road, and tying hands behind their backs, to their failed attempts to hide their anger from their face. The intern was in my Aunt’s arms. I closed my eyes for a minute, rested my forehead on my mom's shoulder and she patted my back. My dad came near and placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Don't worry. What if we missed the muhortham. We are here to wish the girl and we can do it even now."
I came out of the cuddle and saw him.
"I can understand what is going through your mind. Anyways this is your decision and we can do whatever you decide"
"I don't know Dad. I don't know what can be there inside those walls. They might even mock at us. I don't want any of you to endure the pain. It's my destiny and only I should face it."
He had a wide smile and called everyone and informed them what I said. I smiled at them
I turned to walk the toughest path I ever ventured. I knew it will be hard and prepared myself for the worst. I rehearsed what will happen inside those walls. I could see Her Dad having a big smile and the relatives having a demeaning gaze signifying the failure of my love and the victory of their wrath. After a few steps and an array of bizarre thoughts revolving round the quest that people have towards superiority, I found a weird feeling in my cheeks. I reached to my cheeks to see if that was because of the tears, which I didn’t want to have. Not because of the stupid male chauvinism which defines a man not to cry, but control his feelings and act as if he is composed and fearless. But neither did I want her to see my tear filled face nor give her relatives their final laugh about their triumph. I didn’t find any tears but I was having a wide smile instead, that I should had been holding involuntarily from when I started walking.
I reached the gates which stood higher than me. I saw few people inside the hall through the gaps in the metal frame that the gate had. I held the handle of the half opened gate and the next moment, a tear appeared on my hand. But I had no feelings to have shed one. I couldn’t understand if the brain still controls my other systems, I tried to smile, which brought an invisible lump in Adam’s apple and a strange pain spread through my jaws reaching my ears. I turned away from the bus for no one should see me and wiped the tears on my stained shirt right on the red stain it had.
A few minutes later, someone spotted me from inside the hall and turned away. I made up my mind and pushed open the gate which was struck. I raised my hand to push it again, but before I touched it, I swung open. I wasn’t in a state of mind to analyze how it opened on itself but a hand on my shoulder said the reason. I turned to see my family right behind me and my Aunt reached to wipe my face with her saree and kissed my forehead.
“We are with you to face anything that happens in there” my Dad said.
“But I can manage. You don’t have to....”
“But we can’t manage waiting outside without knowing what you are going through. We are here for our sake and not yours” my mom spoke with the determined tone she always has.
“But...”
“Don’t worry. We are here to see the girl and wish her. Nothing more nothing less. We won’t involve in any argument” my uncle smiled, as he said this.
An instant feeling of happiness like a tiny beam of light through a dark room, spread around and we entered the hall with all our gifts. The people in the hall were startled to see us and everyone stood up. I walked in first and my heart was reaching it maximum beats competing with my eyes that were scanning the hall’s length and breadth to get a glimpse of her. But I couldn’t see her anywhere. After all, the bride should have left to the Groom’s house by now, I was being rational. Darn! Not the right time for my right brain to be active but it did it work as if am going to give credits for exceeding expectations.
My Cousins kept the gifts on the floor as the Hall workers have started to remove the chairs and stack them on a corner. A bunch of the people came towards us and stopped half way when her father stepped out of a room. He stood there in silence for a minute and came towards us. His eyes travelled from us towards the assembled gifts and back towards us. He was in shock for sure but he didn’t speak anything. I moved forward towards him and said, “Sorry we are late. We just came to wish your daughter.”
He stood before me without saying a word. I was perplexed by his silence and started speaking more to ease the situation.
“We are not here to create any problem sir. We just wanted her to know that I can live a normal life after this. I can live....” I stopped mid sentence as my jaws couldn’t move in synch to perform the neuro signal orders that my mind was sending them. “I can live without her” I completed the sentence which may just be the biggest lie I have ever said.
He looked into my eyes now and showed a startled look. I didn’t know what to react for the look. Her mother came out of the room and stood near the door. She was startled herself and cried holding the door. A strange feeling spread through the heart holding its beats which became loud, clear and slow. I shifted between her parents for every split second but no one was speaking anything. I turned back to an equally puzzled lot who stood still near the entrance of the hall.
“For heaven-sake say something” I shouted and her relatives turned to send a scornful look at me. Her Mom walked inside the room wiping her tears.
After silence for a minute or two, the door swung open and she stood there with her green half saree drenched in tears, the same green half saree she wore when we walked up the temple hill of the God who married a tribal girl after doing a lot of tantrums to woo her. Before I could relish the relief of seeing her, she broke into tears that rolled down her cheeks. She took a few steps towards me, lost balance and kneeled down. Before I could take a step towards her, she wiped her face in attempts to wave away the sadness and managed to smile amidst the new tears.
I finally took my steps, went near her and kneeled down to match her gaze. She reached my cheeks to wipe away my tears and kept her hand on cheek. Neither her look nor her hand was firm, they were losing their grip. She gained her energy, stood up and folded hands to greet my family and took a few steps towards them. My mom moved front with her hands spread open which she reached and my mom kissed her. I was watching the ladies hug each other, whom my Aunt joined making a cuddle of the most important and influential people of my life.
She came out of the cuddle and held hands with my Dad. A minute later, she turned back to see me kneeling down on the same place and took a step towards me. I stood up with my mind analyzing numerous possibilities of what could be the reason behind all this; the mind never loses its attempt to gain the exceeding expectation credits. She was losing her grip in her gaze and then her legs trembled. Before anyone could make a move, she fumbled to reach a nearby chair and sat on that. Everyone in the hall took a step towards her and she waved off our fear with a smile. A smile that sent chills to my spine and my mind was begging itself to abstain from reasoning.
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