Success in Love is... Part 7

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5  Part 6

The power went off just when I pulled my chair and sat on it. The sun was sending in its final rays and it won’t be the same till I finish the letter. I searched the entire room in hopes that my roommate will have a candle. I never bothered to get one myself as I reach here only to sleep. It was dark when I found a lighter. I went back to the table and sat on the chair. With the glowing lighter in one hand and the letter in another, I started reading.

Who are you to decide the course of my life? How can you decide that my dad is more important to me than you? Who is Manu to decide whom I can love and whom I can marry? Why is everyone around me deciding my life and not even asking my opinion?

Well those were questions I had in mind when I travelled to Erode, crying in my Mom’s shoulders, badly needing your shoulder and the comforting hug you give. We reached home and Dad made me sit on the sofa in determination to give a lecture. But I wasn’t ready for anything. I said just this and left the room, “I will never marry anyone other than him. I am ready to live as your daughter for my entire life if you think he is not an option.”He didn’t talk to me about it till I started to college the next day.

“The whole family’s respect is in your hands” he said when I was packing my bag. 
“And I value it lesser than my love.” I said without looking up.
“Our community will not accept it and they will disown our family.”
“If your only daughter’s happiness is lesser than the community pride, why do you even need that?”
“Don’t you know what happened to the neighborhood girl who ran away with her classmate? She was not accepted in the boy’s side and he has applied for divorce”
“What about my own cousin. He married in same community and burnt his wife for money. Don’t try to convince me”
“So you won’t mind anyone. You will do what you want. ”
“No dad. Who am I to do that? When did we have those rights? He decided that he won’t talk to me and you have decided that I shouldn’t do anything without your approval. After all I am just a puppet in your hands. Only difference is that till yesterday you were having all the strings but now someone else has come to share them. In which world did puppets decide who their masters are?”
“It’s not like that dear”
“It’s always like that Dad. Look at mom, have you ever asked her opinion on anything? Anyways, as he decided I won’t talk to him. But please allow me to complete my studies. I want to be a puppet that can live without the strings if I am allowed to.”

He never said anything after that. That day, when I saw you in the second floor, I knew that there was a tear in your eyes; I knew I can’t wipe it. Life was hell for a few days after that. I tried to avoid every place you would come to but I wasn’t able to forgo the ability of finding you in any crowd. There were numerous times when I regretted for not telling you, how important you are to me. I didn’t know how much love I had for you till my dad dragged me down the temple hill. Till that moment I never thought anything can separate us. You had become a part of my life, more close to me than my own soul.

Your words kept ringing in my ears, “I can’t take a girl away from a family without her parents’ consent and I won’t talk to her without you allowing it.” I didn’t understand if you are crippling my wings or giving me the opportunity to spread them and break the cage. You once forwarded a quote by Roseanne Barr “The thing that women are yet to learn is No one gives you power. You just take it.” I had ignored it then but after that day, I read the message more than a hundred times. One thing was certain; I can’t get my love unless my parents approve it. And as far as I know, my parents haven’t stressed the importance of caste anywhere apart from love/ marriage. There are many family friends who were not in their caste.

I wanted to show them how colorless my life could become without love. I became the person who existed before you came into my life, the person filled with sorrows and hopeless hopes. I took the software carrier without going to the world of fashion because a puppet needs economic stability more than the laurels, if its purpose in life is not fame but freedom. Slowly I started becoming independent, living away from home and earning what I eat, spend and live with. But I am still a puppet with a very long invisible string.

I am writing this to let you know that I still love you and will do it till my death and beyond, if afterlife is true. I know you couldn’t have moved on. After so many months I took out the contact lens and will become the carefree girl for this day alone, so that I can meet you as I used to do. I hope not to cry. I hope not to break your promise. I hope to steal the tiny moments when our eyes meet for I am not sure when I will see you next. I hope you re-create the same magical feeling I used to get when I see you.

Love You.

The lighter sent out strikes of fire as a tear drop fell on the flame. I kept it down and wiped away the tears. I went out to the balcony and the cool breeze sent shivers through me. I knew it was her battle. I could imagine the countless things she is standing against. I remembered her giving the card and stressing, “This is MY invitation.” I thought I should attend the function, at least as the son of their family friends, my mom and dad.

Life’s uncertain. I should write it all over my sulci and gyri. My Lab mates have won the Young Researcher award in the Paris conference and were heading home on Friday. The couple were very happy to show the award and owed it to me in Skype and I stressed it’s all theirs and asked them enjoy the trip. Their flight was scheduled on Friday and the Erode function was on Sunday. It would be perfect as we will have a party for their triumph on Saturday.
I got a call from my Professor on Thursday at 4AM asking me to come to his office as soon as possible. I was worried as his voice was breaking. I ran to his office and he was glued to his chair watching the BBC.
“Hi, Come, see this footage”
I saw an accident scene in some country and the patients being taken to the hospitals.
“What’s this?”
“The conference organizers just called me. They fear our guys boarded this bus.”
“What?” The couple who were hugging me last in the airport came to my mind.
“I have informed their parents. But I am not sure.”
I turned to see a frightened old man; nervous, sad and extremely worried about his subordinates who have grown to become his family. I held his hand and said, “I am sure they will be okay.”
I started making calls to his mobile which was switched off and tried to pull every news item even remotely related to this accident. I even started analyzing the probability of them to take this bus keeping in mind the route, their mood, etc. My friend would have taken it for sure and his wife would not have. But I was uncertain who made the decision at that moment.

The News pages or any web pages have the advertisements and a list of links to other news items. I never thought these are important but when I was reading page with a pedestrian’s update about the accident, I saw a link which made instant drops fall from my eyes and I collapsed in the chair nearby.
Exactly 6 hours back I received a call from his wife and in the most excited voice she said,
“Hey guess what? I am very happy.”
“I know.”
“No you don’t.”
“Hey haven’t you guys shown the award in Skype. Have you started to drink?”
“No! I think, I am pregnant you dumbo. I missed my dates”
“What? Congrats dear. Where is that guy?”
“He doesn’t know yet. I will tell him in our candle light dinner tonight. Don’t tell him before that. Bye Uncle”
“Bye Mummy”

My Prof wiped away my tears and kept his hand in my forehead and said “I am sure they will be okay.”
We didn’t move for 2 hours searching for details and making calls.