Success in Love is... Part 13

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5  Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

I wiped away the tiny tears that were trying to join together to roll down and opened the letter. It was not her handwriting, it was mine. It was something that I had written for her in second year, when she asked me to define the girl of my dreams.

I want a girl who is an equal

Enjoys life for there is no sequel

Energies and Effervescence filled in her bone

Loves and lives for a mind of her own

Decides her destinies; Determines her stand

Shares all available seconds like DNA strand

Spiraled, bonding, contradicting and dictating

Giving birth to a new me after each separating

I want a girl who believes everything said above is her own right

Knows I own the same set for she is no goddess and me no saint

Mocks every custom that beholds and belittles based on birth

Holds my hand and leads me if I hesitate amidst raging wrath

Laughs at the love myth of two body and single soul

Loves my concept of bonded rods on which rails roll

Running parallel as equals, holding hands, waiting for station

To overlap with passion and create a family of fusion

Takes the initiative in adopting our first girl child

Teaches her, the only God true is her mother of blood

For how many Gods risk their life for our birth

Who gives us elixir, unbiased, unlike the gods of myth

I want a girl who is proud of her sex

Knows my pride is neither an ounce more nor less

I want a girl who is an equal

For one life is all we got, there is no sequel

“I tried hard to be the girl you wanted but I can’t anymore. My struggle has come to an end and I have accepted defeat. My parents are important to me as much as you are. And I am accepting to this marriage to make minimal damage to my close ones. Hope you understand my stand and move on. Please come for the marriage, I might cry when I see you but I can’t take this step without your approval. I want you to know that I tried till the last minute, but failed. Hope this society changes in the coming years and no one else suffers as we had suffered. Please move on. I am very sorry.” She had written.

I kept the letter on the table nearby and closed my eyes which showed her cry in a red bridal saree. I cursed the whole caste system and thought about the numerous hearts it has broken. I came out to see the dark clouds ready to send showers. The intern came near, held my hand and looked at me like someone who would cry any moment. I smiled a weak smile and patted her in hopes of conveying that everything is alright. I went in, sat on the table and opened the draw to see the only photo we took together, which showed some tear drops as soon as it was taken out.

The world was blank for a few minutes/hours/seconds. I was startled when someone patted me on my shoulder and the intern was standing beside me, wiping her tears. She showed my mobile phone on the table which was ringing. She held my shoulder saying, “Be strong. Never lose hope” and walked away. “What hope is left for me to hold or lose?”I thought as I attended the call.

My Aunt was on the other end and she informed that she has got a wedding invitation from Erode. I jumped up and asked for her name and the answer was positive. My mom called and informed that all my close relatives have received invitations.

My brother called me and asked if we can storm into their house and bring her here. He was so agitated that he just needed a yes from me to do that the next moment. After all he has friends in every part of this state because of his social activities. I declined the idea and said she has made a decision and certainly would have thought about this option. But for some reason has decide it won’t be the right thing to do.

He then made a conference call to all close relatives and my uncle was very angry that her dad has tried to show his caste pride by sending invite to everyone in our family and wanted to teach him a lesson. He even suggested that his friend is a Police commissioner in Coimbatore and will do any help he asks for. “We can complain that the marriage is done against the girl’s will” he said. But I said she has written a note to me that she has given up her fight and finally accepting the marriage.

Mom asked me what else has she written and read the letter loud for them. Mom was moved and said she is such a nice girl. But my aunt was angry with her for giving up. The other cousins who spoke were supporting my brother’s stand to bring her here and marrying her to me.

Finally my dad spoke, “We should know that she is strong girl and has taken a decision about her life. We should respect that but at the same time we should teach her dad a lesson by making him realize that we are better than him and his caste pride is nothing compared to love.”

Everyone else were silent to hear what he going to say next, “We should all go to the marriage and wish the girl all success in her life. Make her dad realize that by rejecting her love he has denied a great alliance for his daughter. He should know that we respect his daughter’s decision more than him. She should know that even after this she has our blessings and love. She should lead her life without guilt.”

As always my Dad’s decision is final in our family and everyone agreed without second thoughts. They started discussing about the saree they are going to wear and gifts they are going to get for her. Dad asked me to come home a day before the wedding, so that we can leave from here together.

I opened the card again to see the Date and it was on Sunday which meant I have 5days to make up my mind. I washed my face and came to bed. Mobile showed it was 11.30PM, I tried to sleep but I couldn’t take her out of mind. “How can you quit? How can you ever live without me?” I was worried for her. All I want now is to know that her groom treats her well. Hope he understands her and she adapts to the never imagined situation. She isn’t someone who can give up on love. She was all over my retina. Eyes closed or open, she was to be seen.

The door opened suddenly and the intern came in with a parcel.

“Please eat this.”

“No! I am fine. I don’t need anything.”

“Please. Will she be happy if you are in this state.” she said looking at the photo in my hand.

I didn’t answer that. I know she won’t be. I know she will be wishing same for me. A happy life. I don’t know if it’s possible.

“Please eat. I am leaving now. Prof wants to meet us at 10 tomorrow”

She left soon after saying that. I took out the parcel which had a sandwich, which she should have made herself as the cafeteria closes by 10. I had a bite and thought, “Why would Prof want to meet me? Has she told him? I don’t want him or anyone else to know this. I can’t live a life of sympathy in my workplace.”

I reached my Prof’s office at 9.45 to make sure that the meeting is not about me. But he asked me to stay in lab and not to enter his office before 10. My lab-mates came by 9.55 and Prof called us in at 10.

“So how are you guys?”

“Fine” we said with ambiguity filled among us.

“Do you remember what you did 6 months before?” he asked us.

6 months back I was went my college convocation where I saw her last, my friend had his accident. But why is he asking this now?

“Come on man. 6 months back.”

“Nope! I don’t remember. Why?”

“6 month back you did something that has brought great credits to this lab and me.”

I was totally lost. All I could remember was about the convocation, the time when she has given another invitation.

“The paper you guys did, is published today in Nature and here check this” he showed the paper in his laptop.

My friend hugged me and the intern was shaking our hands very firm and showing great excitement. I saw our paper in the journal with my friend as the correspondence author, my name next and my Prof's name at the last. He has edited that part and made us get all the credits. To any researcher, a paper published in Nature is something like winning an Olympic gold or an Oscar. To me and my friend, it was like getting one in our debut. I smiled with them for the success and inside me I laughed at the unpredictable life I have.

Prof asked me to start working on my thesis for PhD under his guidance. Well, as always life has pushed me from the top of the cliff and kicked me back to top when I was about to collapse on the ground. All I could do now was to have a weak smile and carry it wherever I went in the Campus as everyone started identifying me.

Before I realized it was Friday and I started from lab in thoughts of catching the 10.30 bus. But when I was near the gate, the intern came and stopped me. She had walked fast and was gasping for breath. She couldn't talk but held my hand and dragged me, I didn’t know where.

Success in Love is... Part 12

  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5  Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

Life just goes on and no matter how hard it is inside our heart, we have to keep pace with it. At the same time, life brings happiness from different sources and makes us forget our sorrows for some time. My friend and his wife moved to their new flat which their parents had gifted them. The parents had booked a 2 bedroom flat in same apartment for them, so that the young couple has their privacy maintained and the old couples have maximum time with their grandchild. That flat was totally opposite of any given Indian home, it was filled with pictures of the Gods of Hindu faith and writings from Islam. The Koran and Geetha shared same space and the rituals were performed with both the in laws getting involved in everything. In a few weeks my friend’s wife had started showing a round belly with occasional movements inside it and we were thrilled when we felt the movements. The Gynecologist fixed her delivery date to be in 4 months and my Prof made her take maternity leave as long as she likes.

The old couple from Krishnagiri had sent invitation for their son’s marriage and I left for the marriage after lab by 12PM. The whole village was decorated. I met the old couple and who made me have dinner at the late hours despite my protests. They introduced me to their son and said about my visits.
“Oh! They have said lots about you. I was very eager to meet you”
“Pleasure is all mine. You are a hero.”
“Oh! Nothing like that.”
“So how are the people here responding? They should have organized a big welcome.”
“Yes. They wanted to give one. But I declined.”
I smiled and turned to his parents, “So who is the girl? Which one of your relatives convinced you?”
“No! She is not our relative.”
“Love?”
“Not really a love story but it has love in it. I met her in one of our camps in Kashmir. The infiltrations inside our border have not stopped and many innocent people are losing their lives because of the fightings. Her dad was our informer and has helped us stop many terrorist attacks and is a very close friend of mine. He had informed about a terrorist hang out last year and we nailed those people. He is the main reason for my Vir Chakra. But last month when I was having tea with him, he disclosed that his life is in danger and he could be dead any day. She was a brave girl and ridiculed his fear and made us smile then. But he died in a few days of heart attack. Natural death has resulted out of the fear he had for possible execution by the terrorists. She was left alone and none of the fellow villagers wanted to help her fearing that they will be seen as informers if they do so. I felt a surge of guilt and went to her home to make sure if she is alright. She was in a salwar, covering her head with the pallu and received with the same warm smile. I never believed in love before but when I saw her, she was so beautiful that the first thing I said was ‘Will you marry me?’ But She said that she will have to think about it, made me wait for a week and said yes.”

The bride walked into the room. She was beautiful in our traditional saree, kumkumam and jewels. She sat along with her mother in law.
“I called home and asked Dad to arrange for the marriage .She is sure to understand the pressures of my job and can lead a happy life with me. I am glad that she said yes when I asked.” He added and she blushed.
Silence prevailed for few seconds when new couple locked eyes and I smiled along with his parents.
“When he came and asked I didn’t know what I wanted from life as there was nothing left. I had lost everyone and my friends had deserted me because of their fear. I thought he will also have the same problems if he married me but later realized that he is already a soldier and has seen bigger problems. But I wanted to be sure if he has asked about marriage because of his guilt or he genuinely wished to marry me. The next week when I met him in market, his eyes conveyed love despite numerous other officers present with him and I accepted.” she said with broken Hindi that she could have managed to learn from the few classes she should have attended.

“The villagers here are a changed lot nowadays. They wanted to organize this marriage as whole village event and made arrangements” said the old man clearing the last doubt I had.
The marriage happened without any rituals as Periyar had taught us and I left from there by afternoon wishing them all the best and a happy married life together.

Life was back to normal and in a few weeks Prof had selected a girl as intern. She was from Delhi and within a few days, became the sweetheart of our lab. She was more like a small kid amidst us and enjoyed all our care. I smiled after a long time in her company and soon the movies, outings came back in my life as we had same preferences in food and bollywood.

3 months rolled like a few days with increased work pressure, cinemas and outings. We were reaching towards the conclusion of our research and were on the edge of a breakthrough. I spent most of my hours inside the lab and we were having the time of our life in research. The intern had become an integral part of the lab and many experiments were done by her. My Prof asked her to make the draft of our research paper with my help which made us spend most of our time together.

It was a Friday evening and we were in the cafeteria discussing about the research paper, when she asked me,“Have you loved anyone?”
“What?”
“Have you loved anyone?”
“Why is the question in past tense?”
“No! I don’t see you use your mobile at all. No mails and you are not in Facebook even. I feel if you cared to love anyone at all.”
“Hmmm. Nice observation. But isn’t love something about the heart? Mail, mobile, facebook can all happen from my room as well”
“Ha! As if you go to room. In these 3 months you have went to you room just for 4hours each day and most days you forget your mobile in the lab”
“Ok.”
“But you seem to be lost in thoughts whenever I say something about college and the next moment you have a small smile which you try to hide.”

I looked at her now. She was looking deep into me. She is not the kind of girl whom I can say a lie and move on. I wanted to change the topic very badly.
“Seem to know lot about love. Are you in love?”
“Hmmm. Mine is past. Tell about yours”
“What? Past? What happened?”

I couldn’t understand how a girl who is certainly looking good and is a great person to be with once you know her, can have a failure in love.
“Hmmm. See there was this guy from my school who loved me madly and I ignored. But he kept visiting me and proposing his love time and again. At some point of time when I was very depressed and desperately in need of love, I thought about him. I was sure that he didn’t love me for my looks and said Yes when he next proposed. It went well for a year but after that I felt something odd happening. Soon he felt insecure that his Diploma is no match to my BE and my ambitions are too high for him. Initially I saw the restrictions he imposed on me as a form of his love but soon I felt the freedom I enjoyed all life is slowly taken away in the name of love. I tried to explain that choosing my friends is my choice and not his. But this wasn’t stopping there. He started criticizing everything I do and my life was slowly becoming his. I didn’t like it when he dictated my level closeness with my cousins, family and even other girls. We broke up. He went on his way and never called again. I just regret that I loved him; nothing more nothing less.”
There was no tear, no smile but the feeling that she had in her face was regret.
“Better late than never. Good that you didn’t pursue this relationship in hopes of mending him like the majority hopes and fails.”
She smiled, caught my hand and said, “Thanks.” We remained so for a few seconds.
“If we sit here for some more time holding hands sure the campus is going to think I have made a kid love me.” Saying this, I stood up.
She showed anger and said, “Am not a kid.”

Some kind of instant liking spread in my heart when I heard about her past. I don’t know why but my heart took her to great heights as her stand was not common in the society filled with emotionally crippled love stories where break ups are considered as inhuman if it’s wasn’t a forced one. After all to let go off something that we valued as the most important in life demands great strength in the weakest part of our body.

My phone started ringing and I signaled her that am going to room.
Dad spoke when I attended the call, “Hello. Did you receive any letter?”
“No I didn’t check it for two days. Why?”
“Check your letters man. Call me when you are ready to speak”
What? Why would he say such a sentence before putting the receiver down?
I searched for my name in the numerous letters in our common post box and found a big invitation. Yes! I can’t be calm after seeing this. I came back to my floor and opened the card. It was her marriage to some guy owning a few companies in Erode. I read the invitation twice to make sure it’s invitation indeed. Yes, truth slapped me on my face saying “This is the end of your love”.
I stood there in front of my room trying to put the key in the lock and failing to get it right. The intern came near, pulled the key out of my hand and opened the door. I went in and tried to close the door behind. She held the door making sure it not closed in full or locked and left. I found a letter in it. But I was not in a mood to read anything. I sat on the floor and opened the invitation again to see if it’s her name. The words were blurring and I couldn’t be sure of any words other than her name. I threw away the card which landed on my table in a vertical position right in front of my vision. I folded my hands on my knees and drew them close to rest my forehead upon. The full sleeve shirt started getting wet in a few seconds. The cover which was lying next to me, still had a letter.

Success in Love is... Part 11

 Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5  Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10

Mom called by 6PM and I answered the call on the first ring.
“Ha! First time you have taken the call this soon. Are you jobless now?”
“Jobless? I was using the calculator in the mobile”
“Hmmm. You youngsters nowadays have become more dependent on gadgets. Heard you met your dad yesterday.”
“Yes. We talked.” I said with usually short answers format I talk with mom in phone. But something struck me; I never asked him what happened in her house. I had forgotten the whole purpose of my visit to Hosur. “Mom! Where is Dad?”
“In office as usual. He will be coming home by 9 or 10PM.”
“Ok. Actually I spoke a lot with him but I missed to ask what happened in her house. I will ask him today.”
“Hey don’t call him now……….” She was telling something but I kept the phone down and started mixing reagents to prepare food for Salmonella. But I couldn’t continue with the experiment as the thought about Dad was all over my mind. I called him and he didn’t pick it.
Since my mobile showed that it can die anytime out of low battery, I called him again from landline. The call was picked after a few rings.
“Hello”
“Mom! Why are you attending the call? Where is Dad?”
“He is busy. Tell me.”
“Mom! What’s happening?” I could identify the panic in her voice. “Please Mom. You are too bad in lying.”
“Hmmm. Your Dad came back tensed this afternoon, he had met her Dad in Krishnagiri. He is worried about you I guess.”
“Come on Mom, tell me everything.”

She didn’t speak for a few seconds, and then “Your Dad had asked about your love or marriage and he had said ‘It can never happen. Caste pride is something I can never lose at any cost. Just because I am talking very friendly with you, it doesn’t mean we are equals. Already I am being broadminded in accepting you as my friend.’  

Then Dad came home, took out the liquor bottle and asked me if he can have a few drinks. Looking at his tension I said yes and sat next to him asking him what happened. After a few drinks he said, “I have seen people far worse than him and made them realize their pride can achieve nothing more than what their love can achieve. I have made them change, initiated government action against the practice of untouchability, two tumbler system and bonded labor. But I can’t do anything with him. He had already said that our son has taken up a career that has no returns and ruined his life with his wrong decisions back when we had gone to their house. He is someone who values a person only by their caste and their position in society based on money. All our life we have given everything our children have wished for but in this we won’t be able to do anything. I don’t want him to lose in love and live his life with that scar.” There was silence for a few seconds.

Mom, a woman who has always been the driving force of any achievement we made in our life, someone who has helped numerous villagers irrespective of their caste, creed or religion by sanctioning loans for their small businesses and well being, someone who has visitors every evening from every village around our place telling her how the guarantee she signed for their loans helped them live a life of dignity, someone who has lead a life full of achievements, assuring her husband to fight his battles without second thoughts, motivating her first son to become a social activist forgoing a bright career in economics, allowing her second son to pursue a career of his choice amidst million others asking her about his low salary, is wiping away the tears and hiding her sorrow at her son’s first failure in life.

“Mom! You are coming to the marriage right. This weekend, I will come.”
“I thought you won’t come”
“No. I want to see you. Forget about this problem. You and Dad are more important to me than anyone.”
“Yes. And you guys are everything for us.”
“I know. I love you.”
“Ok. Bye. Take care.”

Days rolled out with busy lab hours and phone calls to Mom and Dad. The marriage was on Sunday and no one expected me to come on Saturday morning. The whole family was seeing me after a year. I joined the cousins in doing marriage works like decoration, receiving guests from station, getting things for the ceremony. The bride was watching me do all works and came out of her room and grabbed me by my collar.
“So finally you came to know that I am your relative. We were in the same college for two years and you have spoken to me only once.”
“Oh! It’s your marriage. I guess I have come to wrong house. All work I did from morning is waste.” I said controlling my smile and she showed false anger. Just them my Mother’s sister came near us who is the closest of the many aunts I have.
“Ha! Son, are you trying to impress the bride. If you had done that before, you could have married her.” She said with a smile and my cousin smiled putting her head down.
I put my arm around my cousin pulled her close and said “She is a bit short but ok. When shall we have our marriage?”
 “Go get the Thaali, let’s see if he really is ready to marry me. I know about your love story dear and don’t dare to play filmy tricks here.” I came out of her grip and went to hug my aunt and said, “Save me chithi” who planted a kiss in my cheeks and asked,“What love son?”
I smiled, signaled her that I will tell later and left.

Mom and dad came by evening and were busy with the ceremonies. The marriage went on well and we were discussing various things with relatives and friends who stayed till lunch. After lunch, we came to my paternal grandparents’ house and only my close relatives had gathered there.
“He is telling about some love story. What is this sister?” my aunt asked Mom and everyone looked at me.

Grandma made me sit in a chair and everyone sat around me. She asked with a smile, “How many times have you made me narrate my love story, now tell yours and we all want to hear it”
I smiled and looked at all my close relatives from my 90 year old grandma to the 5 year old Nephew were eager to know that and I narrated everything. My aunt passed comments then and there and the whole house was filled with laughter. My uncle got furious when he heard about the reference of our caste as not equals to her caste. I finished the story till her letter and everyone was silent. My aunt turned to my Dad and said “Shall we go to their house and ask?”
“No! It’s her battle and she will win it. I have trust in her.” My mother spoke exactly what I thought.

The little nephew came to me and asked, “What should I call her? Auntie or sister or Grandma?” I smiled, lifted him and said, “Anything, even by her name” and he said, “No uncle, you don't know anything. Mummy will scold me, I will call her auntie for now and confirm with her when she comes home.” I kissed him and he returned them in double. We can never outplay children in anything.

I came back to campus that night and was content that the whole family accepted my stand and few weeks rolled out with conferences, research papers and I didn’t hear much from anyone. But can life be event-less, my cousin called me one night.
“Hey! Where is your lover from?”
“Erode. Why?”
“Oh! No! I am very sorry man. I came to Erode to visit my friend. He loved a girl from your lover’s caste and married her recently. Both the families accepted them after some initial trouble but other people in the locality were creating problems. My friend and I had to engage in a fight with some people here when they spoke ill about my friend’s wife despite being the same caste people. Someone came and stopped the fights, and spoke, “When are you guys going to grow up? We have given everything to you, our land, house and job but you are unworthy and want our girls. Now stop this and be gone.”

I felt that was a very wrong thought and argued with him and said “You think you have done a great deed when the government gave the lands your owned in excess of the limit to the peasants, despite the fact that these were the same lands your ancestors acquired by force from the same peasants. How can you value the old mythical manu’s shastra as a divine writing which hold you lower than many and higher than few castes? People like you are the real scar in this district’s face for it has produced the most elegant leader against Caste in this state’s history. Just don’t think yourself as God and all others as some irrelevant creatures. Everyone here came to this world by the same way and are sure of death one day, no one is divine and no one is devil; we are all just hapless creatures who don’t understand our value.”
My friend had dragged me home or else I would have spoken more.”

“You did the right thing.”
“I know but I heard from my friend about that person’s family and I guess, he is your lover’s father.”
“No problem man. You have done what is right. Why should we care if that was her dad or someone else?”
“I didn’t mean to bring any obstacle to your love. Sorry bro.” 
He kept the phone and I opened the window to see the moon coming out of clouds. May be this incident will help him understand about my family more or maybe it will make him dislike us more. But what will happen to my love?

Success in Love is... Part 10

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5  Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

We finished dinner and came out. He kept his arm on my shoulder and said, “I know she is a good girl. I know she loves you. But marriage is not just an union of two people but its the union of two families and in your case union of two families that are not equals in the caste system. Unless you marry a girl whose family respects you for who you are, I mean respect your caste as well, you can’t be happy all life. Initially everything will seem to go smooth but soon minor misunderstanding will lead to bitter fights. Some things that look minor for you will be vital for her.”

I looked at him confused, “Dad, I believe she is so perfect for me. I can’t even imagine anyone can be as good as her for me. Please listen to what happened in College and the way our love grew. We are not like those people who fall in love in first sight without knowing anything about each other. Neither do we plan to change ourselves for love. In fact she is the only person I have known with whom I can remain the same person I am. Only person outside family to love me for who I am and not for my past achievements, current position or future prospects.”
I was talking with my head down, managing to hide my tears. Dads always hold the kind of respect with sons that even small disapproval from them bring out many emotions in us.

He took me to the government guesthouse where he was staying and we sat on a bench under a big banyan tree which doesn’t know the caste of the person who planted it or that of the people sitting under it.
“Ok. Now go ahead. Tell me all you want.”
He looked up resting his head on the tree and keeping his spectacles in his shirt pocket. I felt like he is looking up in order to avoid seeing me cry.
I told him everything from the Boomerang ice cream parlor to the letter she wrote. I had wiped away the tears that rolled down a couple of times and never lifted my head up. But when I turned after finishing my narration, he was watching me unaware of the tear from his left eye. I hugged him keeping my head in his shoulder and we stayed as such for some time.

He kept his hand in my head and started speaking in my ears, “First when I saw her, She was drawing happiness from the tiniest things which we ignore always. When we were standing in queue in the temple she was smiling in triumph for a small boy, who initially was jumping in vain to reach the temple bell hung high but managed to make it ring by hitting it with a coconut piece later. She followed the squirrels as they ran away with small nuts in steps, chased away the monkey that came for the banana, finally giving it to him, did pranks to calm the crying new born of some unknown young mother . She seemed very happy but I also couldn’t miss the eyes which were actually showing that there is some sorrow hidden inside. I thought she is just the happy-go-lucky kind of girl who is upset over some minor thing like a relative who didn’t turn up for the function. I didn’t know she had problems of this magnitude. I know about you and your reaction to her dad was predictable, but couldn’t even imagine her to be so determined in loving you facing all odds.”

I smiled for the first time in 15 hours. I looked at my Dad with confidence. But he wasn’t reciprocating my confidence, instead he continued, “All these years in District administration I have travelled lot and known about various sects of people. This is the era when many people who were downtrodden for generations have started to grow up. But the change is not welcomed by the sects who enjoyed privileges in the past system. Still everyone here identifies their caste as either high or low. Everyone here treats the people from their caste as their people and others as different. If caste is just a grouping based on occupation, it should have become irrelevant when the British came here. But it’s deep rooted from the human nature of dominance. Everyone here want to be dominant over the person next to him. Everyone wants to run the race to nowhere. They don’t get the fact that everyone can be first if they walk together.”

“But dad don’t you see that everything is changing here. Nowadays we don’t know our caste unless we see the community certificate during our college admissions. We become friends and treat each other equally in college and even in workplace. I don’t know about villages and I have heard a lot of violence but in cities people are changing” I said my stand.

He smiled and continued, “Cities or villages, how many of you in cities feel the slum dwellers, migrant construction workers, gypsies, transgenders as equals? How many of you have understood that the Quota system in college admissions are the only way to bring the downtrodden to colleges? How many of you know that most people of those castes are first generation graduates or at the max second generation and all they achieve from an higher education is a dream that they are no less than anyone else and in turn become an inspiration for the rest of their family. How many of your students who joined demonstrations against reservations are ready to do the same for eradication of the discrimination based on Caste and religion?
By the way, discrimination is not just the murders that happen but also the silent aversions that people show towards people of other castes either higher or lower. In villages these aversions are obvious because they don’t have to hide it. In cities we have so many factors to think about so the reactions are refined. I am not referring to the castes that are in the zenith of the system alone. Every caste here treats the one below it in manu's mythical manuscript as lesser-humans despite the fact that they themselves receive the same treatment from the ones above them. ”

I have never heard him speak about any of these before. I looked at him and he turned to see me, “Yes, these differences are mostly not seen in colleges. You treat everyone equally. Exactly the dream Ambedhkar should have seen when he crafted the constitution. The only way to bring all castes to the same level and remain as humans alone is education. That is why the reservations were established. But you should also be aware of the fights in the law colleges based on castes. This just proves that still people are not ready to accept equality even in your student community.”

The watchman came near us as it had become midnight. “Sir, are you staying here.”
“Yes. I am staying here and this is my son who has come to see me and will stay here tonight.” 
My Dad didn’t have to tell all this to him, he could have said a plain ‘Yes’, and he would not have dared to ask the second question.
“Ok sir. I am going to close the entrance door. So I wanted to be sure if anyone has to go out.” He spoke as he started to walk towards the gate.
“Sir! Is there any tea shop nearby?” my dad stood and reached his shoulder.
He turned amazed, the reaction he shared with me. He looked at my Dad in disbelief and said, “There is one some 4 km away but you can get tea in the canteen if the staff is awake” he showed the direction to the canteen which was well-lit.
“Thanks” my Dad patted his shoulder, smiled and walked to the canteen.
The watchman smiled which he held till he walked to the gate. I stood there not knowing what to do for a minute and walked to the canteen.

The cook was already having a can full of tea and gave 3 teas of which my dad gave me one and asked me to give it to the watchman. I left with the tea and gave to him who was startled.
We sat with him and my dad asked about his whereabouts and family. He said he was from a hill nearby and has 3 children. He also said he works as watchman in the college nearby during daytime and earns a total of 6000 per month. 6000 per month for 5 people was unimaginable for me and the fact that he making his eldest daughter study commerce in a nearby college was totally not possible for me if I were in his position. My dad asked him if the scholarships based on community are received on time for which he replied that they are the only thing that is making him have dreams for the other two kids. But even that was meager because of the growing price of education in this country.

We left after tea and my Dad had made his point very clear. I laid on the bed and my Dad rested on an old news paper which he spread on the floor not wanting to disturb the housekeeping staff at this hour. Before I covered my head with bed sheets, I said “Dad! I am not sure about her family but I know she is not the kind of person who respects a person based on his caste. I know our caste difference will certainly be insignificant all life. I also know that she will make everyone in her family to accept this relationship. I just want you to keep faith in us.” He didn’t reply and when I rolled to see him, he was asleep.

The next morning I left early to catch up with the research and reached my room by 8AM. My Dad had stopped when I was leaving and said “I have faith in both of you. But this marriage should happen with her family’s approval.” for which I smiled and said, “It sure will.”

I switched on PC to check for mails from my Prof while I saw a wedding card in my bed. It was from one my distant relative who studied in our college and was her roommate in hostel during first year. I know that she might come for the marriage and the whole of my family will be there. But after all that I learnt last night, I didn’t have any eagerness to attend an arranged marriage which is following all old customs. But I didn’t know that the call I received that evening will change everything.

Success in Love is... Part 9

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5  Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

My experiments weren’t providing the results I was expecting. But in research every result or observation is a finding which might even fetch us the Nobel laureate. After all there are many researchers who found their greatest inventions from their failed experiments. Documentation holds the key. Here I was doing the experiments, documenting every step and when I realized that after whole day’s work, I still stand where I started, it was 3AM. I came back to room and my mobile phone showed 2 messages from mom. Mom has never sent a message before this. I unlocked the mobile in a hurry and dropped it inside the used clothes bin. I struggled digging into the bin with the phone sinking deeper with every attempt I make to take it. Finally I had to turn the bin upside down spilling all the clothes in it to taste triumph.

“She is so good. I love her. Call me when you find time.” The first message said. “Hope she didn’t tell anything to anyone” I thought.
The latest message was “Hmmm. We are back home. Call tomorrow after your dad leaves to office.” I couldn’t think why she had to type this. Is Dad angry with something that happened? Oh! No! I don’t want him to be upset. I can’t oppose anything that he says.
I tried hard to sleep. With too many thoughts haunting my dreams, I couldn’t sleep and with the exhausting work all day I couldn’t get up. Some minutes/hours went on like this, well who knows if they are minutes or hours. I woke up with wine red eyes searching for the mobile singing Raja’s song from Thalapathy (a Rajnikant, Manirathnam, Illaiyaraja, Mamooty movie which is an excellent adaptation of the epic Mahabaratha with a more emphasize to the character which deserves it) announcing that my Mom’s on the other end. I had to crawl under my bed to reach the mobile and with the curiosity catching me, attended it under the Cot and closed my eyes to have few more minutes of the peaceful darkness.

“Hello”
“Getting up at this hour? When will you have breakfast?”
“What happened there?”
“Oh! It went on well. We came back soon. That’s all”
“Mom! Tell me every detail”
“Detail about what? We talked a bit after the function and your Dad felt something they said was insulting and we left early.”
“What?” I tried to get up forgetting my position under the cot and soon was reminded of my position with the bang in my head. I came out searching for the swelling on my head.“What happened? Did you drop something?”
“No nothing. Tell all that happened.”

“We reached their home by 6AM and the function was on its course. It was a bit odd because there wasn’t a big crowd and everyone seemed to be their relatives. We sat in the last row and their daughter came to us and sat next to me. I was not sure if she was the girl I met in the college. She was wearing a normal salwar and spectacles. But she had genuine smile and made me feel that she is very happy to have us here. I took out the jasmine strand I had in my scalp and parted into two to share with her. She turned for me to place it and I suddenly got back the yearning I had for a girl child many years back. She didn’t leave my hand until the priest asked for her presence in the stage. That is when I tried to send a sms to you, but I wasn’t sure it reached you or not. Did it reach you?”
“Yes. But I saw it only by late night.”
“Fine. But you work too much for this research.”
“Mom. Continue with what we were speaking.”

“The function got over and we were about to leave when she came and requested us to stay for some time. Your Dad wanted to leave but I wanted to stay with her for some more time and persuaded him to stay back. Most of their relatives left as they were all from the same place, and her parents came to talk with us after a while. They asked about you, where you work, etc,.. Initially they were impressed with the fact that you are in research. But later they came to know that, you earn just 8000 per month, they spoke like you have wasted a bright career in software. Soon, we ladies had gone inside the kitchen to have a chit chat in pretence of making coffee. I don’t know what the guys spoke outside but when I came back, your Dad was darn angry. He stood as he saw me and we left. I didn’t talk to him about it and messaged you after we reached home.
He asked me to sleep and sat to watch some old football game. I went into the kitchen to make the dinner and called you but you were busy. When I finished cooking, I saw a liquor bottle in the table. He was staring at it, must be in a dilemma to break his promise or not. I went near him said, ‘Have a drink if you feel that can relieve your tension, I won’t mind. After all its been 6 months after you dropped the habit of drinking once in a week for me.’ But he didn’t drink. He kept it back in its place, had dinner and slept. He didn’t speak about that even in morning. He was the same happy person today but I don’t know if he is really so or pretending for me. You should talk to him.”
“Yes. I should have done it before. I should have told him what happened in college when I said it to you”
“I couldn’t tell him because I wasn’t certain if you wanted to tell him or not.”
“Don’t worry mom. I will talk to him.”
“Ok! Now go eat something. Take care”

I kept the phone down and started analyzing what could have been discussed. I didn’t want my Dad who holds a senior post in District administration and the powers to determine the progress of a District to have had even a minor insult because of me. I called him immediately in determination to tell everything, but he was busy in a meeting and asked me if I can come to Hosur by 6PM, as he had come here for the meeting. I immediately said yes and started preparing myself to tell everything as organized as possible.
I reached Electronic City by 5.30 PM and called him to inform that I will reach in half an hour. He asked me to wait as the meeting will get over only by 7. I was travelling through the place I had come for my “In plant Training” in the semester holidays after 2nd year. Heart lingered around the thoughts of the  days I would travel from the Boomasandra Industrial estate to Hosur where I stayed declining the offer to stay in company guesthouse, so that I can talk with her for longer duration without the thought of roaming charges. Those were days when we had grown closer than any example I can give. She was dead against my decision to move to Bangalore for an In plant training but this training was offered by my Dad’s friend and I couldn’t decline. I was also motivated by the sheer curiosity I had in visiting a Pharma Industry and know it’s working methodology. She used to wait the whole day for the clock to tick 7PM to attend my calls despite being at home and the call would last till late nights. I never bothered to ask how she managed to talk.

I reached the office by 6.30 and dad called me in to introduce me to his colleagues which consisted of many government officials including the Collector. We later went to a hotel and ordered our dinner. I asked him about the meeting initially and then shifted the topic to the Erode function. He gave a sharp look and stopped eating.
“Do you like her?”
“Dad”
“I know you do. I had this feeling when I saw you both in the College function. But wanted you to tell it first.”
“Yes dad. I also wanted to tell you. But wasn’t getting the right time. I told mom when she said about going to the function.”
“That’s fine. She likes the girl very much. In life, some people will appear so perfect that we love to pursue that relationship but not everyone of such people continue to be perfect because when you are into a relationship, there are so many things to think about. According to what I discussed with them, I don’t want you to pursue this. I don’t think this can be a good alliance for you”
His mobile rang to indicate a call from his office and he started giving instructions to his assistant regarding the action plan discussed in the meeting.
I sat there in shock. I can’t take any decision against his wish and he has never made any decision without a long thought process when it’s concerning me. I don’t want my love to end here. I was waiting impatiently for him to finish his call.

Success in Love is... Part 8

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5  Part 6, Part 7

His parents came in first. I have seen them when they were deeply disappointed by his marriage and gave away curses to me for making it happen. They came in crying and grabbed my hand as I opened the door.
“How are they?”
“They will be fine” I assured them and made them sit in the sofa, still wondering why I said “will be” in place of “are.”
Soon the other set of parents came in and they were very depressed to say anything. They went straight to their in laws and grabbed their hands. They were in discussions how they had been cruel to their children. I saw people who had lived all life as caste fanatics forgetting that when their dear ones’ lives are in danger. After all what is more important than one’s life?
Professor received a call from the organizers and he stood up to receive it.
“How are my kids?”
“………..”
“No serious injuries right”
“……….”
“Can I talk to them?”
“………”
“Thank you.”
He turned to us with a smile in the tear dried face. “They are fine. Only some minor injuries. They travelled on the last seat in the bus.”
“When will they come back” I was very eager to know.
“They should be able to take the flight in a couple of days. Once they are relived from the shock.”
I took the revealed parents to his flat, which had two big photos of the respective family members hung together so as to be seen as one photo. I checked for the groceries and asked them if they need anything for which the answer was negative. I left the flat promising to update them as soon as I hear from their children.
Every research in our lab was passed for the next two days. I took the parents to every temple and mosque they wanted to visit. I stood out and watched the two families accepting all Gods that can bring their children home. Finally they understood that religion is just the path to the same place, which can be achieved if we dissolve our differences and be united by love.

The couple came back from France after 2 days and the whole campus was filled with happiness for their arrival. We stood in the Bengaluru airport for them to arrive. My Prof kept a hand in my shoulder and signaled me to stay with him as the parents moved before us to the receiving bay. I understood him. We started discussing how the celebrations should be and he promised to screen the recent Superstar flick in the amphitheatre as my friend was a big fan. They arrived waving their hands towards us.

Their parents went to hug them but the couple pushed them away to come and hug us.
“We are fine. Just minor bruises. By the way, why are they here?”
“Hey! They are your parents. They were worried for your safety.” I looked at them in disbelief.
“Oh! So only now they came to know that we are their kids.”
“Come on. Don’t make a scene now. They have forgot all about caste and religion when your safety was in question”
“You won’t understand our pain man. It’s not just religion or caste; it’s their pride that stopped them from accepting us. What if this didn’t happen? They would have lived all life with the grudge”
“Yes son. You are right. We thought taking a decision against our wish was a big mistake. A mistake I could never accept from a son who has always obeyed me. I thought it’s all her influence. She became an easy target of all my anger being a girl of different caste and religion. But not any more, not after realizing that this heart however hidden inside a hard case, prays for the safety of the very person it dislikes the most. Yes all these days I prayed for her as much as I did for you to her god as much I did to mine” his dad broke into tears after this and reached the shoulders of her dad.

My friend’s wife was in tears now and grabbed her husband’s hand and her mom came near, “I understand how bad we have been to you two. I thought you made a big mistake when you loved him as I believed you cannot cope up with the differences in the customs followed in his family. We have never said a word against your wish all your life but marriage wasn’t a small thing to accept easily. We didn’t accept only because we thought you can’t lead a long happy life with so many differences. I now know that we were wrong. We are old and spent all our lives following these customs for so long that we required a big blow to realize it was stupid. But we can’t live any more without you.”
She extended her hands to her girl whom my friend pushed front so that they can have the long wished for hug. I went near him and said to his ears, “Some rules and barriers are taught to us for a very long time and it takes time to break them.” And his mom hugged him and her daughter in law.

My Prof and I saw a big family reunion and I said loudly, “This is the time you all should be together.”
When everyone looked puzzled, I turned to look his wife and asked “Have you told him?”
“No, we didn’t have the candle light dinner.”
“What’s better than this?” I pulled my Prof into the Cuddle and we again stood again like Team India after T20 win with his wife in the middle.
She said the big news and everyone in the cuddle were moved to tears, smiles and hugs that the whole airport looked at us.

That night while watching Superstar’s flick, my Prof called me to his table and said, “I never thought that I need a family. Research was everything for me. But today thanks to you I feel like my own daughter is pregnant and eagerly awaiting the arrival of my grandchild.”
“Sorry to ask you, why didn’t you get married?”
He smiled, “I couldn’t. She was in India and I was studying in MIT. She was waiting for me for many years after which her family forced her into marriage. Well that was long. I don’t remember any of it now. Life just goes on and we slowly forget things that we don’t get reminded of.”
I expected this from him as he had lived most part of his life in US of A and had come here to start his own lab. I filled his drink and took a coke for me. “I know you haven’t forgotten her. I know that you have something she gave you.” I said with a smile.
“You creep. How did you know?” he gave a small knock in my head and took out an old smudged paper from his purse.
I couldn’t read anything except the word “LOVE” in it. He smiled and closed his eyes. “I don’t remember what is written in it or any of the incidents that happened. We didn’t exchange photos and occasional phone calls I did were too costly for an intern . Then I lost touch, to know a year later that she got married. Well that was sure to happen. I moved on. But I didn’t have anyone back here to make me enter the wed lock, so remained single”
He filled his drink and kept his hand in my cheeks, “I know you are in Love too. But I won’t ask you about it. Don’t lose it as I did.”
I smiled and came back to my room with a heart filled with her thoughts.

Next day I woke up with a huge work load. Mom called me when I was busy in the lab.
“Yes”
“How are you?”
“Fine”
“Busy?”
“No. Tell”
“Why didn’t you come?”
“I had work.”
“They asked for you”
“Who?”
“Her parents.”
“What?”
“….”
The call went blank which is usual in my lab, thanks to the mobile network's global reach. I was in midway of an experiment to walk out and talk. Whatever it is, it should wait for an hour.

Success in Love is... Part 7

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5  Part 6

The power went off just when I pulled my chair and sat on it. The sun was sending in its final rays and it won’t be the same till I finish the letter. I searched the entire room in hopes that my roommate will have a candle. I never bothered to get one myself as I reach here only to sleep. It was dark when I found a lighter. I went back to the table and sat on the chair. With the glowing lighter in one hand and the letter in another, I started reading.

Who are you to decide the course of my life? How can you decide that my dad is more important to me than you? Who is Manu to decide whom I can love and whom I can marry? Why is everyone around me deciding my life and not even asking my opinion?

Well those were questions I had in mind when I travelled to Erode, crying in my Mom’s shoulders, badly needing your shoulder and the comforting hug you give. We reached home and Dad made me sit on the sofa in determination to give a lecture. But I wasn’t ready for anything. I said just this and left the room, “I will never marry anyone other than him. I am ready to live as your daughter for my entire life if you think he is not an option.”He didn’t talk to me about it till I started to college the next day.

“The whole family’s respect is in your hands” he said when I was packing my bag. 
“And I value it lesser than my love.” I said without looking up.
“Our community will not accept it and they will disown our family.”
“If your only daughter’s happiness is lesser than the community pride, why do you even need that?”
“Don’t you know what happened to the neighborhood girl who ran away with her classmate? She was not accepted in the boy’s side and he has applied for divorce”
“What about my own cousin. He married in same community and burnt his wife for money. Don’t try to convince me”
“So you won’t mind anyone. You will do what you want. ”
“No dad. Who am I to do that? When did we have those rights? He decided that he won’t talk to me and you have decided that I shouldn’t do anything without your approval. After all I am just a puppet in your hands. Only difference is that till yesterday you were having all the strings but now someone else has come to share them. In which world did puppets decide who their masters are?”
“It’s not like that dear”
“It’s always like that Dad. Look at mom, have you ever asked her opinion on anything? Anyways, as he decided I won’t talk to him. But please allow me to complete my studies. I want to be a puppet that can live without the strings if I am allowed to.”

He never said anything after that. That day, when I saw you in the second floor, I knew that there was a tear in your eyes; I knew I can’t wipe it. Life was hell for a few days after that. I tried to avoid every place you would come to but I wasn’t able to forgo the ability of finding you in any crowd. There were numerous times when I regretted for not telling you, how important you are to me. I didn’t know how much love I had for you till my dad dragged me down the temple hill. Till that moment I never thought anything can separate us. You had become a part of my life, more close to me than my own soul.

Your words kept ringing in my ears, “I can’t take a girl away from a family without her parents’ consent and I won’t talk to her without you allowing it.” I didn’t understand if you are crippling my wings or giving me the opportunity to spread them and break the cage. You once forwarded a quote by Roseanne Barr “The thing that women are yet to learn is No one gives you power. You just take it.” I had ignored it then but after that day, I read the message more than a hundred times. One thing was certain; I can’t get my love unless my parents approve it. And as far as I know, my parents haven’t stressed the importance of caste anywhere apart from love/ marriage. There are many family friends who were not in their caste.

I wanted to show them how colorless my life could become without love. I became the person who existed before you came into my life, the person filled with sorrows and hopeless hopes. I took the software carrier without going to the world of fashion because a puppet needs economic stability more than the laurels, if its purpose in life is not fame but freedom. Slowly I started becoming independent, living away from home and earning what I eat, spend and live with. But I am still a puppet with a very long invisible string.

I am writing this to let you know that I still love you and will do it till my death and beyond, if afterlife is true. I know you couldn’t have moved on. After so many months I took out the contact lens and will become the carefree girl for this day alone, so that I can meet you as I used to do. I hope not to cry. I hope not to break your promise. I hope to steal the tiny moments when our eyes meet for I am not sure when I will see you next. I hope you re-create the same magical feeling I used to get when I see you.

Love You.

The lighter sent out strikes of fire as a tear drop fell on the flame. I kept it down and wiped away the tears. I went out to the balcony and the cool breeze sent shivers through me. I knew it was her battle. I could imagine the countless things she is standing against. I remembered her giving the card and stressing, “This is MY invitation.” I thought I should attend the function, at least as the son of their family friends, my mom and dad.

Life’s uncertain. I should write it all over my sulci and gyri. My Lab mates have won the Young Researcher award in the Paris conference and were heading home on Friday. The couple were very happy to show the award and owed it to me in Skype and I stressed it’s all theirs and asked them enjoy the trip. Their flight was scheduled on Friday and the Erode function was on Sunday. It would be perfect as we will have a party for their triumph on Saturday.
I got a call from my Professor on Thursday at 4AM asking me to come to his office as soon as possible. I was worried as his voice was breaking. I ran to his office and he was glued to his chair watching the BBC.
“Hi, Come, see this footage”
I saw an accident scene in some country and the patients being taken to the hospitals.
“What’s this?”
“The conference organizers just called me. They fear our guys boarded this bus.”
“What?” The couple who were hugging me last in the airport came to my mind.
“I have informed their parents. But I am not sure.”
I turned to see a frightened old man; nervous, sad and extremely worried about his subordinates who have grown to become his family. I held his hand and said, “I am sure they will be okay.”
I started making calls to his mobile which was switched off and tried to pull every news item even remotely related to this accident. I even started analyzing the probability of them to take this bus keeping in mind the route, their mood, etc. My friend would have taken it for sure and his wife would not have. But I was uncertain who made the decision at that moment.

The News pages or any web pages have the advertisements and a list of links to other news items. I never thought these are important but when I was reading page with a pedestrian’s update about the accident, I saw a link which made instant drops fall from my eyes and I collapsed in the chair nearby.
Exactly 6 hours back I received a call from his wife and in the most excited voice she said,
“Hey guess what? I am very happy.”
“I know.”
“No you don’t.”
“Hey haven’t you guys shown the award in Skype. Have you started to drink?”
“No! I think, I am pregnant you dumbo. I missed my dates”
“What? Congrats dear. Where is that guy?”
“He doesn’t know yet. I will tell him in our candle light dinner tonight. Don’t tell him before that. Bye Uncle”
“Bye Mummy”

My Prof wiped away my tears and kept his hand in my forehead and said “I am sure they will be okay.”
We didn’t move for 2 hours searching for details and making calls.